Friday, October 22, 2010

Saddest Kids Movies

You know you saw Toy Story 3 this weekend, and you know you cried. Lets take a look back at some of film history’s other great kid-movie weepies.

#10 Fluke, 1995


This movie is sort of like Ghost, if Patrick Swayze had been a Golden Retriever instead of a vaguely effeminate male spirit. A dude who is not a very good family man dies, is reincarnated into a dog and uses his second chance to try to make things right with his wife and son. Schmaltzy animal shenanigans of all sorts ensue. And then, at movie’s end, Fluke realizes, “You know what? I’m a dog. What the hell am I doing here?” (we’re paraphrasing here). The film’s penultimate scene in a snow-covered graveyard is a killer. Emotion-wise, that is.

#9 An American Tail, 1986

After the Mouskekewitzes, a group of Russian-Jewish mice, decide to move to America in the late 19th century, their son Fievel gets thrown overboard and washes ashore in New York City. The entire film is about a small immigrant rodent trying to get back to his family. Pretty sad, right? Yes it is. And then this tune gets sung. Don’t lie, you’re a puddle of tears.

#8 My Girl, 1991

When a children’s movie is set in a funeral home, you know it’s going to be heart-wrenching. But My Girl — the 1991 coming-of-age story about Vada Sultenfuss (that name is the first tragic thing about this movie) and her too-young-to-be-romantic best friend, Thomas (Macaulay Culkin) — isn’t sad because of a funeral. It’s not even sad because Vada’s mother died. It’s not sad because her father has fallen in love with another woman who, while nice, causes mixed feelings in Vada, who worries that her mother is being replaced. It’s not even sad because of the awkward pain of preadolescent male-female relationships between kids too young and too naive to understand what that pain means. No, it’s sad because of bees. Stupid, stupid bees. We won’t ruin the ending, but we will say this: you’ll need at least two full boxes of Kleenex.


#7 Charlotte’s Web, 1973

A simple story about loyalty, sacrifice and “chinning up,” Charlotte’s Web has drawn tears for almost 40 years. Perhaps the most intrepid spider in literature, Charlotte uses her writing skills to save the life of Wilbur the pig. By writing in her web that Wilbur is “Some Pig,” “Terrific,” “Radiant” and, finally, “Humble,” Charlotte ensures that the farmer will spare Wilbur from becoming bacon just before she passes away. While Charlotte has 514 children (three of which stay to look after Wilbur), he never forgets her efforts to save his life.

#6 Dumbo, 1941

Anyone who’s ever been made fun of can relate to Dumbo. He has enormous ears and is very awkward. What’s worse, Dumbo blames himself for causing his mother’s capture. The scene in which Mrs. Dumbo cradles him in her trunk from behind bars and rocks him to sleep makes even the most stoic viewers melt. But with a little help from Timothy Q. Mouse (and an unmentioned bottle of champagne that just happens to spill into a water bucket) Dumbo discovers his ability to fly. Suddenly, his gargantuan ears are his greatest assets. Like many sad movies, though, it has a happy ending. A perfect morality tale for anyone who’s ever been unhappy with themselves.


#5 Up, 2009

The genius of Pixar films is the way in which they work seamlessly on levels that thrill and move both kids and adults. It’s sometimes hard to tell what is the subtext. Take Up, for example. Near the beginning of this Best Picture–nominated film lies a four-minute sequence that introduces the main character, Carl, and his wife, Ellie. A short film within the film, the sequence sketches out their long marriage, complete with all the happiness and disappointments that any decades-long partnership will hold. At the end, Ellie dies and leaves Carl a lonely old man. It’s a crushingly bittersweet sequence, and one hesitates to even include it on this list because of the fear that many kids might not have actually gotten it.

#4 Where the Red Fern Grows, 1974

Maybe it’s because we grew up with dogs, maybe it’s because we watched those dogs grow old and die, maybe it’s because we’re saps — but Where the Red Fern Grows is quite possibly the saddest, most purposefully depressing movie (and book) we’ve ever experienced. True, most stories about a boy and his dog will inspire waterworks, but Old Dan and Little Ann — the two redbone coonhound siblings featured in the book — don’t just die. One of them is brutally mauled by a mountain lion and the other one dies of something even worse: a broken heart. We tear up just thinking about it.


#3 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, 1982

Although regarded as a fantasy adventure, E.T. is really a brilliantly disguised family drama. “From the very beginning, E.T. was a movie about my childhood — about my parents’ divorce,” Steven Spielberg said in a 1997 interview. It’s also a film about friendship, the lengths people will go to protect their family and how hard it is to lose those we love. The waterworks usually start when Elliot has to bid farewell to his beloved alien friend. As happy as we are when E.T. is finally reunited with his family, there is a sadness in understanding the necessity of sometimes having to say goodbye forever.

#2 Old Yeller, 1957

The tragic, rabies-infested ending to Old Yeller is so famous that a first-time viewer might feel prepared for it. But that person would be wrong. Travis Coates may take a step toward manhood when he shoots his loyal companion with a shotgun, but when we watched the classic 1957 film, we didn’t mature at all. We cried like little babies. Sure, sure, Old Yeller left behind a new puppy through which his loyalty and friendship would live on. We don’t care: we want Old Yeller back. Why is life so cruel?


#1 Bambi, 1942

Even though he never makes an appearance, Bambi’s offscreen bad guy, man, is No. 20 on the AFI’s list of heroes and villains. Though Bambi survives his own encounter with man, viewers will always remember the first time the hunter comes on the scene. There is a mad rush across the forest and Bambi’s mother tells her child to run. A shot rings out, and suddenly Bambi is all alone. His father arrives and informs him, “Your mother can’t be with you anymore.” It was enough to make some kids forswear hunting from that moment on. This scene still has the primal power to make grownups weep.

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